From Russell – OK Bro, you have to come clean. No one can drink this much coffee!
You’ve been ordering 6 bags of coffee every other week.
There’s something about this coffee that you know and I don’t.
Are you using a bong or a hooka?
No one can drink that much coffee. What’s your secret? – Russell – Lake City Coffee, Chief Bottle Washer and VP of The Keys
We are professionals, you are not, so don’t try this at home.
Russell, since you told me I could smoke coffee, life has changed. The buzz was wonderful I might add. A little hallucinogenic but not too bad. The pink french-press dancing around the counter top in a lime green tutu was a nice touch. Got naked again and taught it how to jitter bug. Wonderful dance partner.
I found that a course grind works the best for smoking coffee. Then I had a brain fart and figured if one can smoke it and get a good buzz why not try snorting? Course grind is not a good choice for that process. Still blowing out chunks out of my right nostril. Then I set my burr grinder on fine and ground some of your dark roast twice so I had powder. That snorted very nicely. Left nostril is fine. I did find it bit on the bitter side though. It was very energizing.
Me and the dog had a butt dragging race through the living room. Now I have to get the carpets cleaned because we where both naked again. Gunna try a IV drip next time. I’ll keep you posted. You will see my orders ramp up in the coming weeks. I am making a killing selling dime bags.
Well that’s about it for now. I need to go rub some ointment on my backside. Believe me it’s not a good place to have friction burns. I don’t know who to blame for them. You because of your intoxicating drug or the damn dog for his challenge.
Hope all is well in coffee land. – George