No One Can Drink This Much Coffee

From Russell – OK Bro, you have to come clean. No one can drink this much coffee!

Best Coffee Review
For 2 Extra Points – Who Are These Two?

You’ve been ordering 6 bags of coffee every other week.

There’s something about this coffee that you know and I don’t.

Are you using a bong or a hooka?

No one can drink that much coffee. What’s your secret? – Russell – Lake City Coffee, Chief Bottle Washer and VP of The Keys


We are professionals, you are not, so don’t try this at home.

George’s Response

Russell, since you told me I could smoke coffee, life has changed.  The buzz was wonderful I might add.  A little hallucinogenic but not too bad.   The pink french-press dancing around the counter top in a lime green tutu was a nice touch.  Got naked again and taught it how to jitter bug.   Wonderful dance partner.   

I found that a course grind works the best for smoking coffee.    Then I had a brain fart and figured if one can smoke it and get a good buzz why not try snorting?   Course grind is not a good choice for that process. Still blowing out chunks out of my right nostril.    Then I set my burr grinder on fine and ground some of your dark roast twice so I had powder.    That snorted very nicely.    Left nostril is fine.    I did find it bit on the bitter side though.   It was very energizing.   

Me and the dog had a butt dragging race through the living room.    Now I have to get the carpets cleaned because we where both naked again.    Gunna try a IV drip next time.  I’ll keep you posted.   You will see my orders ramp up in the coming weeks. I am making a killing selling dime bags.   

Well that’s about it for now.    I need to go rub some ointment on my backside.     Believe me it’s not a good place to have friction burns. I don’t know who to blame for them. You because of your intoxicating drug or the damn dog for his challenge.

Hope all is well in coffee land.  –  George

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