Conservative Coffee Company

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What is a Conservative Coffee Company? I haven’t a clue. I just thought coffee was coffee and companies sold their stuff. When did we start shoving our politics down our customer’s throats?

Ever since Starbucks decided to go ultra-left, all of the burnt-n-bitter industrial coffee want-a-bees, decided to follow suit, leaving the rest of America’s coffee drinkers to be labeled “Deplorables”.  I never thought about our company (All 2 of us) in terms of politics. We are just a coffee roasting company that just happens to be patriotic, as all real Americans would be.

Caffeinated Politics

Conservative Coffee Roaster

We stand for the flag, put our hand over our heart when singing our national anthem, and pray with our heads bowed.  We treat our flag with respect, love our soldiers, and we support our constitution, all of it. 

I guess Google thinks those values make us conservative.  I just think those values make us Americans.  Maybe that’s why Google has us ranked as a conservative coffee company, which surprised the hell out of me, but “what the heck” I’ll take that moniker any day.

In all reality, I think that Lake City Coffee is just a coffee business, not a political think tank.  We’re not social warriors.  We don’t have a political axe to grind.  Heck, if people consider themselves liberal, then go for it, as long as they drink my coffee.

I don’t care about their politics, gender, or race.  I don’t care if they’re black, white, red, or yellow; just as long as they bleed red, white. I wish we could keep politics out of business, but that’s not the world we live in. Today, everything seems to be political. Yet, on this website, we’re going to focus on coffee and maybe a few minor comments about politics. 

Satirical Coffee Roaster

Best Home Brewed Coffee
Real Men Drink Their Coffee Black

Look, we’re business people with a passion for creating the best home-brewed coffee experience of your life.  We’re here to serve our customers as best as humanly possible, regardless of politics.  Yet, at the same time, I’m not going to hide my political view, especially if I have something to say that’s funny, witty, or satirical.

Talking about satire, Benjamin Franklin was America’s first and greatest satirist.  Like him, I do enjoy a good laugh at the expense of any politician.  If you get a chance, check out the humorous satirical blog posts below.   

Conservative Coffee Companies

Conservative coffee companies aren’t much different than any other company. We just don’t shove our world view down peoples’ throats. To be perfectly honest, most of my life, I hated coffee; burnt and bitter.  I just didn’t see the attraction. Then one day, while at a Church Campout, a man that I barely knew said, “Come on over in the morning before the kids wake up and I’ll have something for you that you’ll never forget”.

So, at 7AM I put on my flip-flops and waddled on over to his tent. There he was with a coffee mug in each hand and a smile on his face that made me think, “Oh Crap”.

With mug in hand, I was kind of obligated to give it a try with a tiny sip. “Holy Shit Batman!” Not believing my taste buds, I took another sip. “Wow!” I looked at his shit-eating grin and asked, “What the hell is this!” (Church Camp right?). He said, “That, my friend, is coffee that was roasted yesterday to a beautiful medium brown.”

My new best friend taught me how to roast my own fresh coffee. For months, I was in heaven.

Conservative Coffee Company

Coffee Shop OwnerWhy would I start a conservative coffee company?  Well, eventually my entrepreneurial mind kicked in; thinking of the thousands and thousands of coffee shops and drive-thrus selling burnt-n-bitter industrial coffee, good for nothing but degreasing wheel bearings.

I thought about a quote from Sir Branson, CEO of Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Communications and 400 other companies, who once said, “Find an industry that’s over 50 years old and done very badly”.

Well, I’m not the smartest guy on the planet, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that coffee in America sucks big time. Bingo! Business opportunity!

Super Smooth Coffee

conservative coffee roasters

Then I started thinking, “What is the most common mistake that these industrial coffee companies are making?”  To begin with, their coffee is bitter as hell. 

I like my coffee smooth as silk, i.e., not bitter and not burnt. I want to taste all the subtle coffee flavors that God put into each bean. To begin with, I had to find a super smooth bean that also had great flavor. I’m a chocolate lover. So, why not a super smooth bean that has prominent notes of chocolate.

After trying hundreds of beans from all around the world, I came to the conclusion that beans from the Tarrazu region of Costa Rica fit exactly what I was looking for. 

Next was to figure out how roast coffee so it’d be super smooth. That wasn’t too tough. If all the industrial coffee companies are roasting their beans hot-n-fast and burning the snot out of the beans, then it didn’t take a rocket scientist to go the other direction; low-n-slow and gently bring those beans to one of three colors golden, medium, and a dark brown (NOT BLACK). Bing! Another Winner. 

Fresh Roasted Coffee

conservative coffee companies

I noticed that my coffee was great when it was fresh and not near as good a few weeks later. As it turns out, the fresher the bean, the better the coffee. And wouldn’t you know it, I’m fortunate enough to come into this business at a time when you can send a package from one side of the country to the other in just 24-72 hours.

So, early every Tuesday morning, Alisha and I add up our internet orders for the week and I head out to the roasting shed. Six hours later, after one pizza, some Jimmy Buffet and Billy Joel, a ton of roasting, I’m almost done.

Meanwhile, at home, Alisha, my bride, has all the bags, boxes, and labels ready to go. By early afternoon, the mailman has come and gone and our still warm fresh roasted coffee is on its way to homes like yours all over the nation.  

Our business model, is just a matter of selling exactly what we like; fresh roasted, super smooth coffee with notes of chocolate.

A Real Conservative Coffee Roaster

Lake City Coffee Master Roaster

Russell Roasting

Therefore, if you like super fresh roasted, whole bean coffee that’s smooth as silk with prominent notes of chocolate and nut, then Lake City Coffee is probably your best bet.

And if you’re not a conservative, then don’t sweat it. Just take my few comments with a grain of salt and don’t get your panties in a wad. 

Just buy our coffee, learn how to make a great cup of coffee from us, and you’ll be so happy, that you’ll just remember that I’m your coffee roaster.

Thanks for taking your time to read about our coffee and our business.



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