Coffee For People Who Don’t Like Coffee

October 4, 2019|Russell Volz|Beans And Roasting, Brewing And Drinking

For most of my life, I hated coffee; bitter and burnt, I just didn’t see the appeal. I figured somewhere, somehow, someone had to have coffee for people who don’t like coffee.

Real Coffee?

So, what are you looking for in coffee? If you’re looking for smooth, not burnt, not bitter, with a real coffee flavor, (which you’ve probably never tasted before), then, my friend, you’re in the right place. I am going to show you the crème de la crème of real coffee for people who don’t like coffee.

You know the routine. You watch your friends drinking their Latte’s, Mocha’s, Americano’s, Frapachino’s, or whatever foo-foo drink you can think of and they’re drinking it as if they’re having an orgasm. Ecstasy aside, let’s call a spade a spade; they’re drinking a liquid candy bar and calling it coffee. But if you put a real cup of black coffee in front of them, they look at you as if you just grew two heads.

Sugar Shack Coffee

If by chance someone does in fact drink plain old coffee, they most often put cream and sugar into it. Why? Because the damn coffee tastes like shit, that’s why! It’s bitter and burnt and tastes like it’d stop a charging rhino in its tracks.

So, I started thinking, what kind of coffee did people used to drink before some bright bloke started adding cream, sugar, chocolate, caramel, foamed milk, and sprinkles? Someone, somewhere, a long time ago, must have been able to make a great cup of simple coffee. Who was that guy? What did he do different to make coffee taste like, like, well, like coffee?

Doughboy Coffee

Before I answer that question, let’s look at a bit of research that I did. The roasting and brewing of coffee changed dramatically twice in the last 100 years. The first big change was WWI (For you millennials, that’s World War One, circa 1915-1919). The US Army wanted to send the Doughboys off to Europe with pre-roasted coffee in tin cans with a shelf life of over one year. The only way they could do that successfully was to burn the living snot out of the beans and then vacuum seal them for “freshness”. Right….

The end result was coffee only good for cleaning greasy pans and flushing a tank’s radiator. Yet, somehow the Doughboys brought home this Stockholm Syndrome predilection for burnt and bitter coffee. Eventually, two thirds of Americans loved the likes of Hills Brothers, Yuban, Maxwell House, etc.

The second revolution in the coffee industry happened in the 1970’s, where “specialty coffee” was mythologically invented in Seattle. All that Charbucks, errrr I mean Starbucks did was buy better beans and still burn the snot out of them AND I might say, also added foam milk, chocolate, caramel, sprinkles, and had the gall to call it coffee.

Grandma’s Super Smooth Coffee

A little more research and I found that my grandmother, (pre-WWI) and all her mothers’ mothers’ before her, they freshly roasted their own coffee beans every week over a hot skillet or in the oven. Easy peazy, right! Here’s the important point, my grandmother’s coffee was smooth as a silk, naturally sweet, and had distinct flavor notes of chocolate, citrus, and nut. This was heaven in a cup, which was truly worthy of an orgasm. What she didn’t serve was burnt and bitter coffee.

Fast forward to my search for “real” coffee. One day, I was killing some time, waiting for my girlfriend (I was 60 at the time). So, I walked into a coffee shop on the South Hill of Spokane Washington and not wanting to take up space without paying for it, I ordered a cup of coffee, with the full intent on letting it sit there untouched while I read a book.

Finding The Perfect Cup of Coffee

coffee for people that don't like coffee

While reading, I absentmindedly, without thinking, took a sip of the “black” coffee. “What!” What was that which just tantalized my taste buds? Looking at the cup miraculously in my hand, I thought, “Couldn’t be”. So, just for kicks I took another sip. Damn! I was speechless. I was shocked. This was good! I don’t mean tolerable, I mean this was like a kiss-from-an-angle-good; smooth as silk; and calming as a sea after a storm. Wow!

After finishing the cup of coffee, my first, I immediately got up and asked the proprietor who roasted the coffee? He said, “Mark at Anvil Coffee”. I practically ran down the street to Anvil. I sat in Mark’s shop for two hours talking coffee. Five years later, we’re still talking coffee.

Coffee For People That Don’t Like Coffee

Mark was a true master-coffee-roaster, growing up in the old style of roasting. I spent two years apprenticing with Mark. What I learned is that coffee doesn’t have to be bitter and burnt. Here’s the secrete to making coffee for people that don’t like coffee.

Buy good beans from Central America. Central American beans have a reputation of being smoother, less bitter, and having a few dominant flavors like chocolate, spice, nut, citrus, etc. First of all, I’m especially fond of coffee beans from Costa Rica, specifically the Amapola plantation in the Tarazzu region, which are the only beans that sell.
Only buy fresh roasted. All beans start going stale in 30 days and no amount of space age packaging technology can change that fact. Furthermore, if the bag does not have the roast date on it, then don’t buy it. By the way, I’ll bet that less than 1% of the coffee sold in the US has the roast date on it. 30 days after roasting, these beans are only good for pig fodder. This is exactly why your great-grandmother roasted her own. Rather than roasting your own, that’s why I’m here. From my roaster to your table in 24-48 hours.
Grind the beans right before brewing. This is important. Buy a good burr grinder. (Go To This Link For My Recommendations)
Try to Experiment with how fine or course you like your coffee grounds.
Experiment with how much ground coffee you like.
Try different ways to brew your coffee. Yes, I know that most people have drip coffee machines. They are at best, “OK”, but are far from great. I also know that a lot of people who like Keurig. Gag me with a spoon! Even my coffee sucks in a Keurig. If you like Keurig, stop reading this post right know, walk into a closet and punch yourself in the face. You are not a coffee lover. You just love bad coffee. Gee… do you think that was a bit too strong? Just calling it like I see it.

Your Coffee Search Is Over

Here’s the bottom line. I love smooth coffee that isn’t bitter, isn’t burnt, and tastes great. That’s why I only sell smooth coffee. Here at Lake City Coffee, I’ve tried, and I think succeeded, in creating great coffee for people that don’t like coffee. You’d be hard pressed to find a better coffee anywhere.

I can confidently say that because over 95% of my business is return business. If my customers love my super smooth coffee, then I’m confident that you will too.